Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
