im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
