I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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