barbara walters just said penis...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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