Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
