I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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