I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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