Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
