also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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