Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
