Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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