I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
