Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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