I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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