I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
