Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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