WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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