Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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