So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
