my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I intend to get homeless drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
