don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This toilet bowl is my home.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
