He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
