I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize