"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
