This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
