woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
