I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
