i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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