Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm gonna have a badass scar
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
