the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
