i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
