Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
