She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So much Jack, so little girl.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
