thus making me awesome and them whores
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize