Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
how drunk are you?
Several
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
