Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
