Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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