hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
