Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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