I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
