So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize