so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
True strength comes from lack of pants
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