woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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