and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
