Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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