I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
