My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
