come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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