I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
