I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
