awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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