let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
