The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
third nipple confirmed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
