When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
