This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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