I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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