We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Couch. On fire.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
