Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
