I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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